


Cold Front

by Toni_Lynne



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 08:58:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13407837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toni_Lynne/pseuds/Toni_Lynne





	Cold Front

You had never believed in something as cliché as love at first sight. Not until the moment John Winchester walked into your life looking confused, dirty, and very much alive.

It wasn’t a good idea, falling for the long-dead-recently-brought-back-to-life father of your best friends. But you couldn’t stop it. You fell fast and you fell hard.

You tried to help both him and the brothers as much as you could while everyone adjusted to John’s being there. Being alive.

It wasn’t easy for John, being around his sons. He could no longer control them and he wasn’t sure how to treat them like the grown ups they were. At times he almost seemed jealous of their success as hunters. Other times he seemed proud.

After the first group hunt exploded into a massive disaster when John and Sam couldn’t get along about anything from where to eat dinner to how to handle the demon you were hunting, John decided to go out on his own hunts while still calling the bunker home, although he was rarely there.

Torn between your loyalty to the brothers and your attraction to John you remained neutral and would go with whoever asked you first.

Sometimes you wouldn’t go with any of them, instead opting to stay at home and do research for both Your heart racing when John would call and start the conversation with “Hey Sweetheart.”

Recently John was asking you to join him on more of his hunts. You would climb into the old truck he had claimed as his own and set off for two or three days of double bed hotel rooms, cheap whiskey, and violent creatures.

You watched John flirt with every pretty waitress and police office you came across so you knew flirting was part of his personality, but that didn’t stop you from wanting, dreaming for a chance when he flirted with you.

Laying awake in your uncomfortable motel bed while he pretended to sleep in the next bed, memories of his dead wife and lost little boys tormenting him, you told yourself John Winchester would never make a real move.

You wanted to believe that you could make him happy. Ease the years of self loathing and blame. Give him shelter in your arms. But you knew with all that baggage a relationship with John would never be healthy. Yet you wanted him. You wanted the chance.

* * *

 

It was a cold, wet Tuesday and you were in a shit hole town in Oklahoma taking care of a vengeful spirit.

When the owner of the local bar asked you to dinner on your last night in town your first reaction was to say no. But John didn’t seem to care so you went, hoping to get him off your mind.

When your date dropped you off at the motel later with a parting kiss on the cheek you opened the door to find John, with bare feet and low slung jeans, pacing the room. “Did you sleep with him?”

“What? No! Not that it’s any of your business,” you sputtered.

John crossed the room quickly, grabbing the back of your neck. “Did you kiss him?”

You shook your head, staring in his eyes.

John breathed out in what seemed like relief before crushing his lips to yours.

You woke the next morning to find you were alone in the bed. For a moment you felt fear. Did he really fuck you and then leave?

But then you heard the shower running. Flopping back in bed you breathed a sigh of relief.

“There’s hot water left,” you heard John say and you jumped, realizing you had started to doze off again.

“Thank you,” you said, getting up and walking towards him.

John stepped back before you could reach him and you frowned, concerned.

“Are you ok?” you asked.

“Fine. Anxious to get to the next hunt,” he replied, not meeting your eyes.

“Are we okay?” you said, angry at how small your voice sounded.

“Yeah, of course sweetheart,” he said, although his voice and body language said different. “I was thinking about heading down to Texas on my own. Why don’t you take the truck back to Kansas?”

You felt tears burn your eyes. “Don’t do this,” you whispered.

“Do what? It’s just a hunt.”

“I don’t want to leave you now John. Please,” you begged.

“Go get in the shower,” he said. “We will talk when you get out.”

While you were showering you put together your argument for why he needed to stay. You tried to think of the perfect thing to say. I love you. I need you. I want to help you heal. I’ll be there for you. Let me take the burden from you. All true, but all so demanding.

When you stepped back into the motel room it shouldn’t have been such a surprise to find him gone.

* * *

 

“Ok dad,” Dean said, ending the call.

“Dad’s coming home for the weekend,” Dean told you, Sam, and Cas. “He also found a small spirit problem in Ohio and thought Y/N and Cas might want to check it out.”

You felt like crying all over again as your heart shattered. It had been three months since you saw John. Three months since he had left you in that shitty motel room. He had been back to the bunker twice, both times while you were out on a solo hunt.

“Fine,” you whispered, glancing at the Angel riding beside you.

Cas gave you a sympathetic smile. While the brothers were clueless to what had happened, Cas had picked up on your distress right away and during a drunken moment at a bar you confessed all.

“I don’t think we will be going Dean,” Cas spoke up, his hand trailing over to touch the tips of your fingers. “Both Y/N and myself are tired.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, ok. I’ll call Garth and see if he wants to put someone on it.”

You felt the panic well up in your chest when you realized you would be seeing John in just a couple days, against his will.

“Hey Dean. Sam,” John said, dropping his bag at his feet and embracing his sons.

“Hello John,” you said softly, standing in the back of the room beside Cas.

You could see his body tense as he turned to face you before he put on a fake smile. “Hey sweetheart. Cas.”

You spent the next several hours in your room, having skipped dinner. You were finally starting to drift off to sleep and almost missed the light knocking on your door.

When you saw John on the other side you didn’t know if you wanted to throw yourself in his arms or slam the door in his face. You settled for raising your eyebrow.

“I owe you an apology,” he said.

“Accepted. Now leave,” you said softly.

“I am a broken man. I’ve never gotten over losing Mary. Look at how I raised my sons. I know you think you are in love with me, but sweetheart you could do so much better.”

“That’s my decision to make, isn’t it?” you said coldly.

“If I hadn’t left when you were in the shower, what would you have said when you came out?”

“I would have told you I loved you,” you answered honestly.

“And I would have had to tell you I don’t feel the same way. And I wanted to spare us both from that.”

“Then why did you fuck me John ?”

“Tell the boys I’m sorry I couldn’t stay around,” he said instead of answering before turning to walk away.

For the first time you noticed his bag and jacket. “You are going to run away again? You used me you dick. You used me to fuck and then you left. And now after the worlds fakest apology you are taking off again. Fuck you John.”

His hand blocked the door from shutting as you slammed it. He was in your room and on you in a moment, his body pinning yours to the wall, his lips bruising.

“I slept with you because I needed you. I needed you more than I’ve needed anything for a long time. And if I had let you tell me you love me, I would have told you I loved you too. And I can’t afford to love anyone else. Everyone I love gets hurt,” he whispered against your lips while his fingers bruised your waist.

As quick as he was on you he was gone. It took you a moment to shake off the dazed feeling.

You followed his path to the garage, reaching it in time to see him pulling out and then he was gone, brake lights bright in the dark.

 


End file.
